Choice

No matter your circumstance, you always have a choice. Fully embracing this idea gives you power. It gives you the ability to rewrite the narrative of whatever negative external event or internal strife. Put simply, there are things we can control, and things we can’t. Anything outside of yourself, is uncontrollable. However, what you can control is your interpretations and the actions you take. Understanding this truth allows you to direct your efforts in ways that benefit you and your mission. It saves you from useless complaining about your circumstances and instead empowers you to change them. If changing your circumstances isn’t possible, you have the ultimate power to change yourself.

Amor Fati translates literally to “love of fate”. To love everything that happens to you is true power. You destroy victimhood when you see it. You take the impediments in your way and turn them into strength. What was first thought of as a terrible event now becomes a catalyst for growth and positive change. Instead of reacting to events, we respond to them – reaction being our base instincts, and response being what happens when you take time to consciously reframe the situation and apply mindful principles.

Transmutation

Your initial impressions are biological, based in the brain and body. You cant control these. I don’t care what anyone says, every human being on earth feels fear, anger, envy, etc. Every human being thinks irrationally, that’s human nature. Our impressions happen within microseconds. Our brains interpret information and filter it through a series of complex neural networks, causing our bodies to react. In the case of perceived danger, the brain signals to the body to dilate blood vessels, increase heart rate, increase blood flow to the muscles so that you can either fight or flee from the perceived danger. However, once that impression passes, you choose to respond. Here, you address your physiology, breathing deeply, widening your gaze, standing tall. Then you can use the principles of logic to re-ground and respond accordingly. Controlling your impressions applies equally to thought.

Your way of thinking colors your subjective experience of the world. Most of us are not aware of our thought patterns, especially if they are destructive. Our egos often stand in the way, shouting “I am right and they are wrong”, regardless of context. You must learn to see through this illusion. This illusion is what prevents you from transmuting your pain into potential, turning the hindrances in your way into power.

Imagine seeing a colleague succeed where you failed. If you are stuck in a self-deprecating way of thinking, you will stew with resentment, your sense of self-worth will suffer. But it doesn’t have to be this way. If you are aware of these thought patterns, you can choose. You either stew with resentment and anger, or, you channel that energy into doubling your efforts—writing a better proposal, training harder, pushing further. You can’t destroy the emotions, but you conquer your impressions—reframing them as a source of energy that you can call upon and use.

Execution

Get a piece of paper and a pen/pencil and write down something that is going on in your life that is causing you grief, it could be a way of thinking or it could be a negative external event. Take some time to consciously write out a reframe for that situation. You just got fired? While this might cause you anxiety about finding another job, you can flip it on its head. Now you have so much more free time to work on yourself and make yourself better. You have an opportunity to go in on your creative pursuits or look for a better job that suits your personality more.

However, writing it isn’t enough. You need to consciously go in and change the neural networks responsible for your habitual thinking, this is where mindfulness comes in. Mindfulness actively cultivates the space between thought and reaction—returning you to the raw state of mind that exists before thoughts arise. This exercise is critical because most people in daily life aren’t aware of their habitual thought patterns. We are thinking constantly and often are only taken out of this behavior when engaged in something that requires all of our attention. A sports game, a creative project, an amazing conversation. This state can be replicated in daily life and is foundational to change. So, if you don’t meditate, start. Remember what we discussed earlier—react vs respond? Response is impossible if you don’t have the level of awareness to observe your habitual thinking. To start, my favorite meditation tool is the app “Waking Up” by Dr Sam Harris. He also has a book published of the same name. Another book recommendation is “Wake Up Now” by Stephen Bodian.

Lastly, don't be a beggar. Do not beg a deity to make your life better. Don’t beg for hope from somewhere outside of you, you are the hope. Armed with the ability to reframe your thinking and consciously choose your action, there is nothing preventing you from succeeding in this life. The greatest impediment is always going to be you. You have to destroy your victimhood and replace it with something constructive. Doing so will make you undeniable and will bring you peace of mind, strength, and solidarity knowing that you didn’t falter, you didn’t let your circumstances define you. Instead, you acted, you answered the inner call. Understand, nobody can take your power from you unless you let them. There is always a way, always. No matter what. The power of choice is yours, will you take it?